The second tip I can give you so you won’t feel lonely is Realize that we’re always connected, yes I know this sounds a bit contradictory but most people feel a bit lonely when they are physically alone, one a Saturday night while other people are drinking and partying for example, when the dreadful fear of missing out kicks in , this sense of been separated from all this fun, joy, and pleasure can remake people to suffer.
As a means to cope people indulge themselves in unhealthy pleasures like drinking, drugs or binge watching porn, just to nub the pain of loneliness.
In a lecture, Chinese Buddhist monk sheng-yen told us about his experience in solitude and that he didn’t feel lonely at all.
“when I was in solitary retreat, I know that I was together with all sentinel being in innumerable worlds.
Even though I seemed to be alone in a small, enclosed room actually I was in company with many ants who found their way inside and there were many inserts around the Hut who created all kinds of sound in the evening.
Been lonely is just a perception, we can perceive loneliness as something bad or horrible and we can perceive a certain situations as lonely, Even though we aren’t alone. As the stoic philosopher Epictetus said “men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things, so this is why some people feel lonely in groups while others feel connected when they are alone. In reality, everything In this world is connected. We’re all part of one big universe and we’re all made of the same stuff. Here on earth, we come from the same soil, breathe the same air, and drink the same water, if we realize this, how can we possibly be lonely.
3. The third way is to sit with it-being around people all the time is a great way to avoid what’s going on in ourselves, people that need to be around others all the time that do spend time alone at the same point, do everything to avoid that self-confrontation and spread the experience of their inner lives with short term pleasures, this is unfortunate because being alone is an excellent opportunity for introspection by going inwards we might find out what’s bothering us what we want to change etc.
That’s are difficult things to contemplate sometimes, but doing it can help us tremendously in the long run, also the practice of meditation Is that we observe our thought and physical sensation, this means that we can learn what’s actually happening inside us, in a way that we normally don’t.
If we become aware of certain anxieties, anger, tensions, tiredness, and so on and accept them, they will eventually dissolve again, this can be experienced as discomfort, but it’s a much healthier way to get into a much calmer state than self-medicating with drugs or alcohol.
4.Chase your Dreams: being around people all the time can be a lot of fun but it also gravitate us to do as they do, like watching the same television shows, talking about the same subjects and also having the same opinion, it’s the herd mentality which could be detrimental to achieving your goals and dreams
Spending time away from the “herd” cannot only give us new perspective by introspection, it also create the opportunity to actually do what we want to do, regardless of what other people think, achievement comes with sacrifice so that’s why it makes perfect sense to sacrifice parties, drunk nights at the bar or dinners with friends, in order to build something for ourselves
Solitude can be a great vessel for this, when you’re creating something in solitude, you will begin to embrace your time alone and you’ll less likely develop unhealthy addictions, you simply don’t have time for that, when I’m writing a script or an Article for this blog
I often find myself in a state of joy which I can best describe as a state where nothing is missing everything is there.